Dream On!
I don't update this blog nearly enough, even when inspiration strikes. Today I just happened to check my Statcounter account and that reminded me of an idea I'd had several weeks ago and wanted to write about. I'm pretty beat just now after a busy (and long!) weekend so I don't know if I can do it justice, but best not to put it off any longer. So here it is in a nutshell:
I think that people who game obsessively are missing something. I don't mean that they're a few cards short of a deck, or a couple doughnuts short of a dozen, but rather that there's something lacking in their life, whether they realize it or not. When I started gaming, I had a very full life. I had a husband, children, a house, lots of stuff and loads of responsibility. What I didn't have was a self, an identity. Before Toontown, I lived for my husband, my kids, my house and they were how I defined myself. With Toontown, my identity became a little brightly colored collection of pixels who had a cool name and was way cute and way tough. And had lots of friends. And never got tired. And always had a clean house. And when she got her butt kicked all she had to do was hang out in the playground collecting stars or whatever until she was good as new, ready to take on the toon world again.
Fact is, I couldn't have quit playing and gone back to the same life I had before Toontown. In a weird way, I was more in my fantasy world and once I quit I had to be more in the real world. Toontown kept me in a holding pattern at a time when my real life was overwhelming and overwhelmingly boring at the same time. It kept me limping along, but it was a crutch I used for far too long. It helped me not think about things, but while I was not thinking about things I wasn't dreaming either and I wasn't growing as a real person in real life. I had to quit playing to start dreaming and growing again. Now that I'm not incessantly thinking about the toon me I have time to think about the "me" me. Who that character is, what she likes to do and what she is capable of. It's much harder than playing a toon character, but in the end it's sure to be much more rewarding.
Now instead of my real life suffering because of my fantasy life, my poor little toon is sadly neglected. She may never grow up because I am rarely interested in visiting her. Ah well, better her than me!
I think that people who game obsessively are missing something. I don't mean that they're a few cards short of a deck, or a couple doughnuts short of a dozen, but rather that there's something lacking in their life, whether they realize it or not. When I started gaming, I had a very full life. I had a husband, children, a house, lots of stuff and loads of responsibility. What I didn't have was a self, an identity. Before Toontown, I lived for my husband, my kids, my house and they were how I defined myself. With Toontown, my identity became a little brightly colored collection of pixels who had a cool name and was way cute and way tough. And had lots of friends. And never got tired. And always had a clean house. And when she got her butt kicked all she had to do was hang out in the playground collecting stars or whatever until she was good as new, ready to take on the toon world again.
Fact is, I couldn't have quit playing and gone back to the same life I had before Toontown. In a weird way, I was more in my fantasy world and once I quit I had to be more in the real world. Toontown kept me in a holding pattern at a time when my real life was overwhelming and overwhelmingly boring at the same time. It kept me limping along, but it was a crutch I used for far too long. It helped me not think about things, but while I was not thinking about things I wasn't dreaming either and I wasn't growing as a real person in real life. I had to quit playing to start dreaming and growing again. Now that I'm not incessantly thinking about the toon me I have time to think about the "me" me. Who that character is, what she likes to do and what she is capable of. It's much harder than playing a toon character, but in the end it's sure to be much more rewarding.
Now instead of my real life suffering because of my fantasy life, my poor little toon is sadly neglected. She may never grow up because I am rarely interested in visiting her. Ah well, better her than me!
posted by Portia | 5:49 PM
2 Comments:
im suffering the same fate i think, im too scared to let go.
Good Morning,
My husban plays toon town ALL THE TIME. He rushes home from work and sometimes doesn't even say hi and goes into his space the garage to smoke drink lots of beer and play toon town. We use to have a beautiful yard and he was doing things around the house UNTIL toon town. Now the yard totally fell appart the grass turned into tall weeds. The floor is coming up the wood work never got finished there is old dog poop still in the garage (I rarely go into there). He plays toon town until 2am then sleeps then goes to work at 4;30 am when he's not late. Week ends and holidays he never stops only to take a nap and go to the store for more beer and smokes and some times grocerys. He makes neet little piles with this smokes and beer cans. When I go out to say something to him he doesen't really listen and now gets anoyed when I phone him at work. We were doing a craft show this summer and at the end camped for the night, when my children said daddy watch me on my bike he replyed NO I have to find where I can have internet connection and the left until wee hours in the am. He doesn't eat dinner with us anymore instead I bring his dinner out to the garage.
(He is in the gargage because of his smoking I do not want to expose my kids to smoke).
Any sugestions?
You can email me back but I do not want my name on here too sad about this.
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